hostel

staying at a hostel is definitely the way to go. mucho fun. many late nights of laughing and watching ridiculous tv shows and talking about everything under the sun. individuals from Italia, Romania, Australia, Germany, UK, Egypt, Texas. like a small international family.

trying to get an English man to say "What's your favorite cartoon character?" in American English... priceless.

\\LB\\

eh?

i love canada. traveling to canada - particularly if it's on a ferry through the san juan islands on a sunny day with good company - is a lovely treat. even though it's just across the border, there are some major differences. accents, attitudes, customs, traffic laws... it's great.

my weekend started off by me overflowing my hot cereal in the microwave and then getting a speeding ticket. but things improved on the ferry ride. in Victoria, i enjoyed the first tibetan meal i've ever eaten. yum. and chocolates. canadian chocolate is something else. the concert was excellent. gregorian chant and renaissance polyphony sung where it was intended to be sung - in a big old cathedral. we were spot on. the day ended with sweet potato fries and a little bit of wine, followed up by world cup replays. (satisfied smile)

a ferry trip back with spontaneous outburst of song, a nun from new jersey, and stories of a boy's heroic escape from a priory... a game of catch with the family, otter/beaver pops in the sun... a drive to seattle with madlibs, pizza and parmesan... a red eye flight... the thorough use of public transportation...

now i'm at the global health council conference at a fancy shmancy hotel in the capital city. many people who do many amazing [big and small] things around the world... and poor little i. all i have is a willing heart and a ready confidence. hopefully that will get me - in time, with prayer - to where i am doing helpful things with other people.

\\LB\\

my favorite shirt

last night i should have been tired but just couldn't fall asleep - an incredibly rare thing for me - so i started composing some tunes on the guitar. love songs, of course... mostly about my cat. now i'm sure you're saying, "that's so [uncool]." (substitute the words "crazy," "lame," "lonely," etc.) well not in my case. while i have heard myself described as "different," really i am just that cool. as is my cat.

today i met a new friend over coffee. (a human friend even! not feline.) it is quite a pleasure to find people i feel like i'm already friends with; people i like before i even know i should. that's what it was like today.

hmmm. i wonder... shouldn't "falling in love" be like that? (clarification: not talking about my cat anymore.) falling in love, whatever exactly that means, i should think might feel something like finding the friend you didn't know you were without. like buying a new shirt that has always belonged in your closet. like hearing a song for the first time and knowing that it has always been your favorite.

\\LB\\

death

wow. sharing the last few moments of life, being there for the last few breaths...

this whole thing has been a precious experience. i was with grandma those nights and mornings at the hospital when we didn't know what was wrong. i will remember her asking me to pray with her before she went to sleep. i will remember the doctor pulling me out into the hall that morning and telling me she had cancer. i will remember her reaction when we talked about it over breakfast. her initial reaction was beautiful, one of strong, precious faith. "oh, maybe they can take the cancer out, but if they cannot, I am ready to go home. it's in the Lord's time." i will remember those early mornings together at home... what precious times. and i will remember the quiet, calm, peacefulness of her last few minutes here on this side of living.

this is the song i was singing when she took her last breath last night. by the end of verse 1, i knew she was gone.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side;

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

leave to your God to order and provide;

in ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: your best, your heav'nly Friend

through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake

to guide the future as he has the past.

Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;

all now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know

his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

and all is darkened in the vale of tears,

then shall you better know his love, his heart,

who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears.

Be still, my soul: your Jesus can repay

from his own fullness all he takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on

when we shall be forever with the Lord,

when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past

all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

\\LB\\

dying

death and dying. so much a part of living.

death. a particular time to reflect on a person's life, their legacy, the impact they had on the lives of others.

also a time to look deep into our own lives, and to think about what kind of life we're living. what people will remember of us one day when we're gone. how do we WANT to be remembered?

not easy.